Tough Times

Sometimes blogs can be deceiving... looking back on my recent posts I see how I tend to use it as a way to see the positive things in life! To reflect on what brings joy and laughter! I think this is a good thing, but it certainly does not reflect my everyday life. I have been going through a difficult health period again, and although I try to just work through it without complaining too much, I felt it was necessary to post about it. That way down the road when we look back, we can be proud of getting through tough times as well as enjoying the fun times. About 3-4 months after Charlotte was born I began to develop a problem with my remicaid infusions (for the crohns and anklosing spondylitis). I developed severe sinus infections and frequent low grade fevers. I dealt with this side-effect for over 6 months, until I just couldn't do it anymore. The doc administering the drug finally decided he would not give it to me anymore due to the problems. So, it has now been about 3 months since my last infusion. My health has been crazy... maybe because my body is trying to re-balance out? One day I feel ok, and the next I feel terrible. I think I may be close to killing this sinus infection... I haven't had the frequent fevers anymore. So that is good! But I have begun experiencing many of the autoimmune symptoms that I was able to live without while taking remicaid for over 2 and a half years. My doctors keep telling me to "keep the stress levels down". HA! You try on my shoes and say that again! So We keep praying that somehow, someway I will get to feeling good and stay that way! We hope to find a way for me to stay home with Charlotte which would decrease my stress levels. I currently have a good job right now.. one that I actually enjoy! But I really just want to feel good, be healthy, and be able to fully take care of my family and our home. And although I know that life as a mommy and a wife can sometimes be trying, for some of us we just have that yearning to do it.